Public Transportation Etiquette (A Lesson In Common Courtesy)
Ever have someone sit next to you on a bus, train or plane that does something so terrible you immediately think “that’s so not kosher!”? Well, I will generously provide a list of faux pas that would normally be common sense, but the sheer need to put them in writing says otherwise. In order of increasing importance I present to you a lesson in common courtesy.
5) Do not announce to the bus conductor that you are not a psychopath and then follow it up by saying…well maybe a little. I’m already questioning my safety by being on a bus cruisin’ through not so safe neighborhoods (I’m talking about you Crimedanch).
4) Under no conditions should you consider clipping your nails (of any kind) while sharing public space with complete strangers. I’m sorry but if you need to do personal grooming that badly, I’m gonna need you to go ahead and take a later bus.
3) Remove your shoes and or socks to air out your feet. Again, this is not your home and that’s just utterly disgusting!
2) Never think it is ok to change your baby’s diaper on any form of public transportation that has no restroom. There are germs everywhere, especially on the seats…and not for nothing but this is not the bathroom at the Olive Garden. I am but a few feet away from you and your non-conventional approach to motherhood is making me question my future in that field.
1) Finally, this is my biggest pet peeve, if you are the conductor please have the common courtesy of NOT hitting on the passengers. This especially true if you could be my grandfather, I do not need a free lift or anything else from you for that matter other than for you to get me to my destination safely and on time. Also, do not mistake my kindness for flirting, I am not in any way shape or form interested in you. Do not tell me I should spread my wings and hang out with older men that could be my father. You are not George Clooney or Andy Pettitte!