The BFF Conundrum
It is part of human nature to seek companionship. Not only in terms of a mate but also to form a single or preferably several non-kin lasting bonds with those whom we can confide in and share our deepest fears as well as our hopes and dreams with. Man was not meant to be alone, which is why we have family to get things started and help us develop healthy interactions with others. Once we’re released into the world and forced to mingle with strangers, things can get a little tricky. For example, making friends is not an easy task, especially if you’re more introverted and the exact opposite of talkative. Beyond that, once you’ve decided to open up to someone, you sometimes find yourself elevating them to best friend status. I’ve learned to be cautious and not throw around the label of ‘best friend’ loosely, because quite frankly…it’s a pretty important title to have. To me, best friends are sisters from another mother, who believe that the good in you greatly outweighs the bad and still want to be a part of your life (flaws and all). They also tell you when you’re being absolutely ridiculous and kindly (or not so kindly) put you in your place. Last but not least, you share an open book policy of complete honesty. You may or may not agree with my spiel, but it all came together beautifully when Mindy Lahiri (The Mindy Project) stated that “a best friend isn’t a person…it’s a tier.” If Dr. Lahiri, someone who I identify with in all her ridiculous glory, shares my view on friendship, all is well.
You might be asking yourself why I feel this way about friendship. Truth be told, I had an experience many years ago with someone I considered my ‘best friend’ that went horribly wrong (I may be overreacting). Without any signs, a friendship of 7 years came to an abrupt halt, causing me to consider the possible reasons as to why this occurred. Aside from being young and immature, I quickly learned that not everyone has the same heart as you and one should always look to the positive qualities a person may have instead of focusing on the negative. I’ve since become more guarded as to who I allow access into my world. However, here I am spilling my guts to you lovely people and am happy to report that my friend and I may no longer be considered ‘best friends’, that is to say we’re not terribly close but friends nevertheless. Over time I have learned that friends come and go, some are only part of your life during a particular stage or time; while other bonds are able to withstand the test of time. Friends Forever? has a nice ring to it, but instead of placing all of that pressure on a person, I’d rather have a number of really good friends.